Some conversations are hard to start. But once you’re in them, you begin to truly value and be shaped by them.
That was the experience at our most recent planned giving event, when local author and former Fort Lewis College journalism professor Jennie Dear joined us to discuss her book, What Does It Feel Like to Die? What followed was one of the most honest, tender, and unexpectedly hopeful conversations we’ve had in this series.
Jennie’s path to writing this book was personal. After navigating the deaths of both of her parents and spending years as a hospice volunteer, she found herself wanting to convey what the experience of dying is like for those moving through it. Her research led her to doctors, nurses, family members who had lost a loved one, and others who have walked alongside the dying. What emerged was a book full of their stories, their wisdom, and their light.
Her central message surprised many in the room: that death does not have to be experienced as an ending, but as a beginning. And within the uncertainty of a terminal diagnosis, there is often unexpected room for growth, connection, and even peace.
“Jennie’s work reminds us that facing our mortality isn’t morbid — it’s an act of love. When we sit with that reality honestly, we start asking what we want to leave behind. That’s exactly where the idea of planned giving begins.” — Briggen Wrinkle, Executive Director, Community Foundation serving Southwest Colorado
Attendees openly shared experiences from their own lives — stories of parents, partners, and friends they had walked beside through this deeply personal process. The room held space for all of it. Many left with something they hadn’t expected to find: comfort, and a quiet sense of inspiration, about one of life’s most inevitable passages.
Community Foundation Executive Director Briggen Wrinkle with author Jennie Dear outside the Community Foundation offices.
Further Reading, Recommended by Jennie Dear
If Jennie Dear’s book sparked your curiosity, she also recommends these titles:
- “The Four Things That Matter Most” by Ira Byock
- “Dying Well” also by Ira Byock
- “The Five Invitations” by Frank Ostaseski (co-founder of the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco, and a widely respected voice on death and dying from a Buddhist perspective)
- “Dying: A Natural Passage” by Denys Cope (a hospice nurse whose book offers both practical and compassionate guidance for dying people and their families)
- “Lessons from the Dying” by Rodney Smith (former director of Hospice of Seattle, whose reflections on time spent with dying people are, in Jennie’s own words, simply beautiful)
You can order Jennie’s book and her book recommendations from Maria’s Bookshop in downtown Durango.
The Community Foundation hosts quarterly planned giving gatherings for community members interested in exploring legacy building and the decisions that shape what we leave behind. These conversations aren’t just about finances — they’re about life.
If you’d like to be included in future events, reach out to Rachel at rachel@swcommunityfoundation.org or visit us at www.swcommunityfoundation.org.
